Thank you especially career U.N. administrative functionaries for tearing yourself away from trading food aid for sexual favors wherever food distribution is safe and profitable, incidentally, you will be happy to know I am sending $20 billion more for you to pilfer and waste away in food aid distribution.  That reminds me to thank the Sudan for their work on behalf of minority human rights from their position as UN human rights councilmember.  Allah Akbar for the Jihad way.

I am also excited to go to the porno bordello capital of the world to make up a report for my brainchild ACORN back at home. While in Copenhagen there will be something rotten in Denmark as I arrange the demolition of the American military arsenal. Tomorrow I will meet with Frenchy, President of Burkina Faso. I will arrange with him a braid expert to arrange my family’s hair into those hundreds of fashionable little tight braids.

I, President Obama, really came here today to argue with the U.N.s chief climatological scientist who yesterday stated the world will cool for a decade and perhaps decades to come. My experts from Burkina Faso and Haiti have given me contradictory reports that you will all die painful slow and excruciating deaths if you believe the U.N. reports and I have on display in the foyer voodoo dolls of each of you to prove it.

Finally you are all crooked, but, I am not. I have a billion dollar campaign warchest and I have pledges for that much more some of which came from potentates represented here to fight any vicious lie that I am crooked like you. It is hard to stimulate an economy when your crooked-aciousness impedes investors from conducting business in your country. My David Axelrod is available to help you polish up your image to help investors waste their capital in your country before you nationalize their industries as I have done.

Additionally my ACORN brainchild is now idle and available to create ballot-worthy voter duplications to insure your political future until the sex slave scandals blow over here at home.  Which reminds me, please forsake your traditional national family values at home and join our American style unmarried sex cult so you can take our abortion money we Americans happily export your way using this August body as a condom, er, conduit.

Finally we must push God’s people into a tiny indefensible patch of territory so we can reach them with the cheapest Katyusha rockets.

Are you with me, world? Knew you would be. Allah Akbar comrades.